Monthly Archives: June 2012

by

Friday Link Love

It has been a crazy week. Just nuts. On the upside, I am now finally, completely, 100% done with the book, revisions and all. Huzzah!

And anon!

~

Logo for “The Truth”

First, some link love family-style:

The Truth — APM

My brother-in-law Jonathan is the producer of this radio program, dubbed “movies for your ears.” They were recently featured on This American Life. If you like the cleverness of the radio plays on Prairie Home Companion, but long for something WAY less stodgy, check this out. Clever, quality work.

~

Where the Hell Is Matt…One Last Dance — YouTube

I adored the 2008 video and always vowed to use it as an intro to World Communion Sunday. (Now I have the technology to do it at Tiny! Woo!) Maybe I’ll use this version instead:

Absolute joy.

~

What Post-Baby Bellies REALLY Look Like — Daily Mail Online

Honesty and beauty:

A group of working mothers and bloggers have decided to tackle the growing pressure women feel to snap straight back into shape after giving birth.

Baring their own post-baby bodies, seven bloggers from CT Working Moms have embraced their stomachs, in an effort to liberate other women from the unattainable cultural beauty ideals plaguing today’s ‘bounce-back’ obsessed society.

In a photo shoot they have named the Goddess Gallery, the women hope to encourage new mothers to accept, and cherish, their changing bodies despite the ever-growing ‘body after baby’ celebrity worship, and the suffocating negativity that can come with it.

~

The Impossible Juggling Act: Motherhood and Work — NPR

Anne-Marie Slaughter is EVERYWHERE right now. Her Atlantic article is a tour de force. This capsule of her Fresh Air review gives you the gist of her argument, but honestly, you should read the whole thing.

“I still strongly believe that women can ‘have it all’ (and that men can, too). I believe that we can ‘have it all at the same time.’ But not today, not with the way America’s economy and society are currently structured,” she writes. “My experiences over the past three years have forced me to confront a number of uncomfortable facts that need to be widely acknowledged — and quickly changed.”

Those changes include recognizing the needs of both parents — and giving them both time off — when they first become caregivers. But the deeper problems, Slaughter says, are more cultural — and extend beyond the first months of parenting.

“[We assume] that the worker who works longest is most committed as opposed to valuing time management and efficiency at getting things done over the length of time,” she says. “And second, [we assume] that that time has to be spent at the office.”

I’m too close to this at the moment to comment. Maybe I will at some later date.

~

Impromptu Puccini — Andrew Sullivan

I’m shamelessly reproducing Sully’s entire post because it defies abbreviation:

A male reader writes:

“My husband Jimmy and I recently celebrated our wedding here in Brooklyn, and my mom and her new husband came up for the festivities. This was a totally impromptu performance by my mom at the request of friends who just started asking her to sing something. Though I expected she would go with something from the Rodgers and Hammerstein catalog, Puccini is what she delivered. Absolutely brilliant. I’m still picking myself up off the floor. I’ve never heard her sing this and it’s one of my favorite pieces. The reactions of my friends Sarah (flower dress on the right) and Neal (lilac shirt next to her) are priceless …”

[Sullivan continues] A small reminder: Mitt Romney wants to ban these occasions by constitutional amendment across the entire country, and forcibly divorce those of us living happy married lives. What he hasn’t counted on are our moms. You think Puccini is surprising? What till Mitt messes with her son and son-in-law.

Do not miss the follow up post, either. The mother is a conservative Republican from North Carolina who is very suspicious of Obama and voted for McCain/Palin… and against Amendment One.

Love wins.

~

Take My iPad, Please! — Forward

Leaders in the Conservative Jewish movement have offered some guidelines on technology as it relates to Sabbath. I haven’t read them in depth yet but obviously I’m glad this conversation is taking place.

~

And in honor of my denomination’s General Assembly which meets next week…

Hey PCUSA, Stare Death in the Face! — Theresa Cho

Lately, I’ve been reading “Deep Survival” by Laurence Gonzales. Using science and storytelling, he tackles the mysteries of survival – why do some have what it takes to survive while others don’t. It seems an odd choice of reading to correlate with the challenges of our denomination today, but you would be amazed how useful simple survival skills may give us the tools we need to survive. Gonzales says, “In a true survival situation, you are by definition looking death in the face, and if you can’t find something droll and even something wondrous and inspiring in it, you are already in a world of hurt.” As Christians and Presbyterians, we have a real opportunity here to recalibrate and look “death” in the face and see something wondrous and inspiring. I wonder if that is what Jesus saw when he entered the wilderness for forty days and forty nights. What Boy Scout survival skills did Jesus whip out in the depths of temptation. I imagine he didn’t only experience a sense of being physically lost, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

If you find my diagnosis of the church too optimistic-and some do-read Theresa’s article.

by

It’s Encourage an Artist Day!

First, let me say what a feast of wisdom you all have provided with your quote suggestions for my empty epigraph slot! Keep ‘em coming!

Contest closes at 5 p.m. today and then I have decisions to make.

(You improve your chances of winning if you provide bibliographic information, including page number…or at least enough info for me to find it easily. The deadline’s breathing down my neck.)

But I’m actually writing to tell you that it’s Encourage an Artist Day. Yes, I just made that up but it’s my blog and I can do that.

This morning I got an e-mail from an elder at a Presbyterian Church in Ohio. Their pastor recently celebrated the 30th anniversary of his ordination and this elder was looking for something to mark the occasion. She found this litany I wrote, a reaffirmation of ordination vows. I originally wrote it for my annual preacher camp, The Well, but decided to send it to Reformed Worship on the hunch that there aren’t many litanies of this kind out there.

It was such a gift to receive this elder’s e-mail, I cannot even tell you. It was a simple thanks, nothing elaborate, but it came at just the right time.

So I charge you, Blue Room readers who value creativity and beauty, who read widely and revel in artistic expressions—send a note of encouragement or thanks to a preacher, writer, artist, blogger, musician or [fill in the blank]. With Twitter and Facebook and other means of communication, it’s easier than ever to be in touch with the people who inspire you. And report back on how it went!

Sending my note right now…

by

I Need a Quote! Contest and Giveaway

“If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”

I love a good quote, and this one from E.B. White is one of my favorites. It’s the first of twelve epigraphs in my book, Sabbath in the Suburbs.

The trouble is, there are thirteen chapters.

A big publishing house that will remain nameless didn’t bother to answer my request for permission to use a verse of this wonderful poem. So, I need a new quote and I need it by tomorrow.

No sense in drawing these things out, eh?

Obviously the quote should have something to do with Sabbath, or time, or living gently in the midst of our days. It can also come from the other direction and highlight the frantic busyness that grips many of us. It must not require me to seek permission, which means it can be from a book but it can’t be more than one line of poetry, hymn, song, or prayer, unless it is in the public domain (generally pre-1923).

Comment here or on my Facebook author page or e-mail me at maryannmcdana (at) gmail (dot) com with your suggestion by 5 p.m. EDT Tuesday June 26. If your quote is chosen I’ll send you a copy of the book when it comes out, plus an added surprise bonus.

Image: bonus photo of my Meglet, who improves the world simply by enjoying it.

by

Post-Vacation Miscellany

We’re back from a very satisfying vacation in Springpatch, Midwestern State. The trip was not without its snafus—Robert and Caroline caught colds, and I hurt my back for a couple of days after doing this weird surfing thing in the pool with James. But the kids were 97% delightful in the car (and without DVDs to boot!) and we got lots of rest at the grandparents’.

Having kids who are old enough not to need constant vigilance/suggestions of things to do = priceless.

Caroline enjoyed playing on a real piano. Our digital piano is wonderful but there’s no beating an actual grand. She is teaching herself this piece. I’m boggling at the motivation in this kid, but it sure made for a nice soundtrack for our trip.

James had a breakthrough in the swimming pool and is now going under water after many months/years of unhappiness at getting his face wet. Tonight he went from bobbing up and down in place to actual locomotion. He was SO proud.

Meanwhile, Margaret can turn a mean cartwheel.

As for me, I have two more days to finish proofing the PDF of my book. It’s very exciting to see it at this stage. July is going to be a tremendous month, with a number of conferences and articles and things on tap.

And school’s out, which means I will be doing the summer shuffle: camps, babysitters, swim team, child care, etc.

Coming tomorrow: a contest/giveaway with a VERY quick turnaround. I need a new epigraph for one of my chapters, something about Sabbath and/or living lightly in time. Put your thinking caps on….more details in the morning.

And now, a few photos. The headwear came from New Salem. That’s Caroline hanging on the monkey bars, and I included the one of me because I think I look relaxed… a rare posture for me :-)

by

Treehouses, Letting Go, and the Definition of Food: Friday Link Love

Let’s start with a feel-good:

97 Year Old Woman Gets a Diploma — Washington Post

She had to drop out during the Depression:

“When I told her she was getting a diploma, she sobbed as if a pain had been relieved from her heart,” [her daughter] said. “I never knew what it meant to her. She wanted this.”

~

The Minister’s Treehouse — Colossal

A self house! Built over 11 years and without blueprints:

More at the link.

~

What is Food? — New York Times

Mark Bittman doesn’t mince words in his support of Mayor Bloomberg’s limiting the size of sugary drinks that are sold in New York:

If the mayor were to ban 32-ounce mugs of beer at Yankee Stadium after a number of D.U.I. arrests — and, indeed, there are limits to drinking at ballparks — we would not be hearing his nanny tendencies. (And certainly most non-smokers, at least, are ecstatic that smoking in public places — including Central Park — is increasingly forbidden.) No one questions the prohibition on the use of SNAP for tobacco and alcohol. And that’s because we accept that these things are not food.

…

Sugar-sweetened beverages don’t meet [the standard of 'food'] any more than do beer and tobacco and, for that matter, heroin, and they have more in common with these things than they do with carrots.

~

You’re Not Special — Boston Herald

A high school commencement speech from David McCullough, Jr.

…do not get the idea you’re anything special. Because you’re not.

The empirical evidence is everywhere, numbers even an English teacher can’t ignore. Newton, Natick, Nee… I am allowed to say Needham, yes? …that has to be two thousand high school graduates right there, give or take, and that’s just the neighborhood Ns. Across the country no fewer than 3.2 million seniors are graduating about now from more than 37,000 high schools. That’s 37,000 valedictorians… 37,000 class presidents… 92,000 harmonizing altos… 340,000 swaggering jocks… 2,185,967 pairs of Uggs. But why limit ourselves to high school? After all, you’re leaving it. So think about this: even if you’re one in a million, on a planet of 6.8 billion that means there are nearly 7,000 people just like you.

It’s downright theological, the way it critiques an overly indulgent, everyone-gets-a-trophy culture… but then flips “you’re not special” at the end:

Like accolades ought to be, the fulfilled life is a consequence, a gratifying byproduct. It’s what happens when you’re thinking about more important things. Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you. Go to Paris to be in Paris, not to cross it off your list and congratulate yourself for being worldly. Exercise free will and creative, independent thought not for the satisfactions they will bring you, but for the good they will do others, the rest of the 6.8 billion–and those who will follow them. And then you too will discover the great and curious truth of the human experience is that selflessness is the best thing you can do for yourself. The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you’re not special.

Because everyone is.

Watch the video interview too, as he talks about privilege.

~

A New Ministry Scorecard — Progressive Renewal

How’s your church doing?

% of people who can articulate a clear sense of vision and purpose for the church

% of active participants in all areas of the life of the church

% of first and second time guests

h/t: Jan Edmiston

~

The Art of Letting Go — Harvard Business Review

“You know what,” I heard myself saying, “I don’t think our work is right for you at this point.” He looked slightly stunned. In all honesty, so was I.

I couldn’t quite believe I’d let go of a potential client who had explicitly expressed interest in our work. But by the end of the evening, I felt lighter, as if I’d done the right thing for both of us.

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. After reading this, I said no to an opportunity that had been shoulding on me for weeks. Wonderfully freeing.

~

Speaking of letting go…

The Good Short Life — New York Times

After posting this sad story written about a mother’s slow, sad and (yes) expensive decline unto death, “The Good Short Life” is a wise and pithy “yes-and”:

No, thank you. I hate being a drag. I don’t think I’ll stick around for the back half of Lou [Gehrig's Disease].

I think it’s important to say that. We obsess in this country about how to eat and dress and drink, about finding a job and a mate. About having sex and children. About how to live. But we don’t talk about how to die. We act as if facing death weren’t one of life’s greatest, most absorbing thrills and challenges. Believe me, it is. This is not dull. But we have to be able to see doctors and machines, medical and insurance systems, family and friends and religions as informative — not governing — in order to be free.

It’s an uplifting article, really. I discovered it while reading this post, about seeing life’s most profound challenges as not debilitating, but “interesting.” Easier said than done, but…

~

I’m on vacation next week, and The Blue Room will be closing up shop while I’m gone. Be good, and savor your life.

by

New Feature: Popular Posts

Just a quick announcement that I added a new item to the menu on The Blue Room’s sidebar: Popular Posts. These are favorite articles that have risen to the top in terms of hits, comments, or both.

Also included: a link to the entire Friday Link Love archive.

Check it out, and if you have additional posts you think should be there, let me know.

Let me also issue an invitation to you to follow this blog via e-mail. Click the button on the right to get set up…and thanks.

by

What’s Inspiring Me

Here are a few things that are inspiring me today… and I want to know what’s inspiring you:

1. Robert and I have season tickets to Signature Theatre, and we saw God of Carnage last Friday night. It’s funny and dark and absurd. This Friday should be even more fun: a revival of Xanadu. I’ve never seen the live musical, but the film version was the first “grownup” movie I ever saw as a kid. It’s a wretched film, but I love the music, and apologize to Robert and to whomever will sit in row C seat 107, because it will be hard for me not to sing along.

2. These time lapse photos of the earth (and skies) from the space station:

Check out the storms:

3. I am making my way through The West Wing again, and I just watched Two Cathedrals. I never tire of that episode.

4. Sister Gramick. Check out this short profile of this remarkable woman. Money quote:

It was essentially a spiritual cease-and-desist order: no more speaking or writing about homosexuality, period. Gramick took some time to reflect on the command and then wrote a response: “I choose not to collaborate in my own oppression.” In effect, she treated the Vatican’s order as a suggestion—and politely declined to follow it.

Oh how do I love the “politely” here?! I’ve been pleased to know and work with a number of Catholic nuns in my life and almost to a person, they are kind and feisty… and Christlike. No wonder the Franciscans have come to their defense.

~

That’s what’s inspiring me today. And I need all the inspiration I can get. The typseset PDF of Sabbath in the Suburbs arrives later today, which means I’ll be giving it one last painstaking look.

Your turn…

by

Friday Link Love

Trumpet Fanfare and Away We Go!

40 of the Most Powerful Photos Ever Taken — Buzzfeed

A big hit on Facebook this week:

Christians protect Muslims during prayer in the midst of the uprisings in Cairo, Egypt, in 2011.

~

The Gospel of Stephen King — CNN

Who knew?

“People tend to think that Stephen King is anti-religious because he is a horror writer, but that’s completely mistaken,” says Zahl, a retired Episcopal priest who has written about King’s religious sensibility for Christianity Today magazine. “Several of his books are parables of grace in action.”

…

There is an actual body of literature devoted to King’s religious sensibility. Several pastors and authors say King displays a sophisticated grasp of theology in his books, and his stories are stuffed with biblical references and story lines taken straight from the Bible.

“If God brought lawsuits, Stephen King would face a charge of plagiarism,” says J.M. Rawbone, an English horror novelist who has written an essay about the Christian themes in “The Stand.”

~

Time Flows Uphill for Remote Papua New Guinea Tribe — New Scientist

I adore this kind of stuff:

Núñez and his colleagues noticed that the tribespeople made spontaneous gestures when speaking about the past, present and future. They filmed and analysed the gestures and found that for the Yupno the past is always downhill, in the direction of the mouth of the local river. The future, meanwhile, is towards the river’s source, which lies uphill from Gua.

This was true regardless of the direction they were facing. For instance, if they were facing downhill when talking about the future, a person would gesture backwards up the slope. But when they turned around to face uphill, they pointed forwards.

The future is heavenward. That’ll preach.

~

Modern Faith: Paying Paul His Due — The Daily

In “Paul Among the People,” Sarah Ruden, a classical translator and scholar, uses ancient sources to look at Paul as he would have been seen in his own time and context. She finds him to be neither the scourge of homosexuality nor the rigid puritan that today’s social right and left have seen in him. By the standards of his day, Paul was a progressive social reformer.

Oh no she DI-INT!!!!

“Rather than repressing women, slaves or homosexuals, he made — for his time — progressive rules for the inclusion of all of them in the Christian community,” writes Ruden. Ironically, the passages where Paul often seems most intolerant to modern readers are precisely the ones where he was trying hardest to reduce the appalling brutality of the Roman world he knew.

~

All Men Can’t Jump — Slate

Subtitle-Why nearly every sport except long-distance running is fundamentally absurd:

Hear me out, sports fans—I’m a basketball nut myself, and so the joke is as much on me as anyone. To see where I’m coming from, you can’t do better than examining basketball’s most physically talented player, Michael Jordan. He was hailed as nearly repealing the law of gravity, and during his prime he made rival players look as if they were moving in slow motion. But Air Jordan wasn’t in the same league as a house cat when it comes to leaping. Consider how casually young cats can jump up onto refrigerators. To match that, a man would have to do a standing jump right over the backboard. And a top-notch Frisbee dog corkscrewing through the air eight feet up to snag a whizzing disc makes Jordan look decidedly human when it comes to the fantastic quickness, agility, strength, and ballistic precision various animals are endowed with.

There’s no denying it—our kind started substituting brains for brawn long ago, and it shows: We can’t begin to compete with animals when it comes to the raw ingredients of athletic prowess. Yet being the absurdly self-enthralled species we are, we crowd into arenas and stadiums to marvel at our pathetic physical abilities as if they were something special. But there is one exception to our general paltriness: We’re the right honorable kings and queens of the planet when it comes to long-distance running.

As a fledgling runner, this was an entertaining read. I used the M word in public for the first time this week, and a friend responded, “If God had intended for us to run that far…” Turns out… God did.

~

And finally, Electionate.com

Any political junkies out there? This site is destined to be the 538 of the 2012 election. Mark my words.

~

Peace be with you.

by

Motherhood Mantra: The Harder Thing

The amazing and prolific Mihee Kim-Kort recently hosted a series on her blog called “Motherhood Mantras.” I’d been kicking around the topic for several weeks and finally managed to get something written, but… the series is over. Thankfully Mihee understands that the life of the mother-writer happens outside the bounds of conventional time and has agreed to post it.

Incidentally, Mihee also has a book forthcoming from Chalice Press, called Making Paper Cranes: Toward An Asian-American Feminist Theology which looks to be excellent.

It was the witching hour, and my husband was working late. I’d managed to cobble together some semblance of a balanced meal for the three amigos and me. But there was no getting around it—we had to go to the grocery store after supper.

It had been an exhausting day of ministry. As I navigated traffic with the kids in the back, I was lost in my own thoughts about e-mails left unanswered and people who would need to be visited the next day. I was heavy with the burden of pastoral care, not to mention sermon preparation, which percolates underneath everything else, all week long. I love my kids, but I was counting the minutes until they were tucked quietly into bed.

A plaintive request came from the back seat: “Mommy, can we pretend we’re in a spaceship?”

The internal answer was instant and vehement: Ugh, NO! I was just too tired. I wanted to get to the store, buy what we needed, and get home—no muss, no fuss. I had expended all my creative energy during the day. Surely there was nothing left for spaceship play.

But a flat NO is a bit of a buzzkill. So I considered a middle ground: Go right ahead, kids! Be my guest. Why would I stop them? So long as they stayed strapped in, they could imagine whatever they wished. They’re happy, and I get a little introvert time. Win-win.

But something in me shifted. What if I went along with them in the game? What if I decided not to do the bare minimum? What would happen if I summoned up some energy I wasn’t even sure I had, in order to play along?

“Sure!” I heard myself say, and began barking out nonsensical orders. “First Officer Caroline: monitor our coordinates. Lieutenant Margaret: check the thrusters to see that they’re operational. Sergeant James: give us a report of weather conditions outside.”

A short growl came from the backseat. Oh yeah, James is in his I’m-a-dog phase. “Did I say Sergeant James? I meant Scruffy the dog. Scruffy, you lie down until we get to the moon, then you can help explore.”

The whole errand went this way. The Fairfax County Parkway became a giant asteroid belt. The grocery store became a space station where we needed to stock up on supplies. Our garage became a lunar docking station.

Miraculously, bedtime afterward went smoothly, even joyfully. I thought they’d be wound up from our game, but they were content, excited that they’d been able to do something out of the ordinary. What’s more, I was in a better mood too.

Later that night, I remembered a phrase I’d read as a young adult: “It’s easier to do what’s hard than what’s easy.” The author’s point (if I remember correctly) is that people often choose the path of least resistance in their lives, but that path can make life harder in the long run. (Doing the bare minimum to graduate, for example—it’s easier short-term but it can impact career success for a long time.) By contrast, if you put in just a little more effort, it can make a huge difference in the end. What’s initially hard becomes easier over time.

That phrase has evolved into a parenting mantra:

The harder thing is the easier thing.

It’s hard to summon the energy to play Minivan Spaceship, but it’s easier in the long run than dealing with cranky, bored kids, resentful at yet another errand, dragging their feet instead of skipping down the aisles, looking for provisions.

It’s hard to keep the house in a basic semblance of order, but it’s easier in the long run when you know exactly where the permission slip is on the morning of the field trip.

It’s hard for me to set aside time for Sabbath each week—a practice our family has been committed to for many years—but it makes life easier because it makes life more pleasant.

The harder thing is the easier thing.

It’s hard to have the tough conversation, or to respond to that angry e-mail with a phone call instead of another e-mail, or to tell the truth the first time rather than fudge it… but it is so much more freeing to be on the other side of it.

Sometimes we’re tempted to do the minimum to get by—in life, in relationships. And let’s face it: as mothers, we’re constantly playing triage. A bit more humor, a bit more kindness, a bit more intentionality, require a lot more energy up front. But these things pay dividends in the long run, through stronger relationships and a sense of well-being.

The harder thing is the easier thing.

Like every good mantra, you have to know when to embrace its inverse. Sometimes the harder thing is the harder thing. It’s possible to force things, to strive for a perfection that’s not only impossible, but exhausting and dispiriting. I’m a big believer in the good-enough parent. Sometimes getting everyone to the store and back in one piece is good enough. Surviving is a victory.

But other times, the harder thing really is the easier thing. And the more joyful thing.